He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
