You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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