My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
