I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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