I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
