Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
