Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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