Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
