yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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