The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize