I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
