Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Everything about him screamed your future.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
