and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I am mentally ready for anal.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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