You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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