just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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