Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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