You can't motorboat a personality
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
