I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you never un-have a 4some
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
