My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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