I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
