Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
