i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
