I'm really into asian looking animals
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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