I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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