he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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