my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
