I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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