respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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