Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
