after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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