Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she pinky promised me she was 18
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
