This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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