If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
