I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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