I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
