On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
my liver is dry heaving
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
