the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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