Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
your room smells of hookers.
And success
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
