So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
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Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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