Moan for me like Helen Keller
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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