Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
