well I can't set my house on fire every night
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
