She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Welp...herpes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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