is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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