I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
