Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
