I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
