if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
