Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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