just tell him i said nine months
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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