Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I want to have your abortion
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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