Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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