My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
