After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
