it was like his penis was on wheels.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
