Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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