I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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