i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You know, be my cock's hype man.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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