He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
