yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
