New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Randomize
