Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
