tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
